Simpsons Creator Reveals Homer Simpson Actually Large Cat with Jaundice

LOS ANGELES – Fans of the long-running and universally acclaimed animated television show The Simpsons were thrown quite the curveball this morning when Simpsons creator Matt Groening revealed that Homer Simpson, The Simpson family patriarch, is not a grown man at all, but a large cat with a severe case of jaundice. “What with the Every Simpsons Ever marathon on FXX, and all this Hello Kitty stuff, I figured it was time I came clean, too,” Groening said. “Frankly, I was getting really tired of correcting people all the time, so I’m just gonna set the record straight right now and say, yes, Homer Simpson is actually a freakishly large feline with a horrible case of jaundice. Always has been, always will be. “I thought I made it pretty clear from the get-go of the series in ’89, but I guess not.” Groening was quick to point out that this does not mean the other members of The Simpsons family, or any other characters on the show, are also large cats with jaundice. “Nope. Only Homer,” Groening said. “Everyone else is a completely healthy human. It’s just Homer who’s a large jaundiced cat.” Members of The Simpsons cast and production team could not be reached for comment; however, it has been rumored that Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane may finally quell the rumors that Peter Griffin is in fact an albino sea otter.